Done Here

I came back home wanting more than this
More than you can know
Perhaps a new start for this wreck I live
Perhaps some hope would show

This life I live really left the tracks
After I came back here
The train derailed, my dream's a wreck
It was a mistake I fear

This place has changed
Or maybe it's me
But I am done here now
I don't fit in at all, no way
I'm an alien now
My views aren't right
My goals don't mesh
With this place, I fear
My home isn't really mine anymore
So I guess that I'm done here

rescued

so long ago
life was so uncertain
for a certain 13 year old
living day to day
expecting upheavals
knowing they would arrive
not knowing when

an upheaval occurred
wasn't welcomed at first
not that way
some turmoil
and an expected loss of status
something i didn't want

but it came
the change
and it was marvelous
and for the first time in years
first time ever
i could lay on my bedroom floor
and look up at my bedroom ceiling
and know that it was mine

and it was good

personals

i peruse them
just looking to see
what the lonely write
as they seek someone
to fill that niche
in their hearts

how sincere are they?
"19 yr old seeks man for serious relationship"
and i chuckle
what 19 needs to be serious about anything?
(i have clothing older)

i close the page and move on
(to the bicycle page)
and wonder if those hearts will ever be filled
if they are really serious
seeking the right person
for some undisclosed time

reflection in c-minor

the distant child within me
stirs amidst emotional echoes
harkening back to bright days
dark days
memory hovering on the edge
of extinction
dreams yet unfulfilled
in those twelve year old eyes
from that distant summer
lying in the back seat
as mother drove
i can still feel the motion
of that delta-88

many summers have passed
and yet that twelve year old clings
to life
deep inside of me
holding on desperately
to those yet unfulfilled dreams
of a world so bright
a future so abundant
love so real
reflected in those
twelve year old eyes